We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize