God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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