Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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