i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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