She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize