butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize