I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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