Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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