I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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