this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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