That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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