i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm always down for nudity.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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