Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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