I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think i have two assholes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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