Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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