last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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