I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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