U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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