go do what you do best...puke behind churches
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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