I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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You dont lie about slip and slides
Boobs speak an international language.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
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Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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