i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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