when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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