I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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