My balls are so social today.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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