I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Alive.
So much puke
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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