i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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