im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize