I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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