This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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