just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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