i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am available for nakedness
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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