do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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