Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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