All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize