Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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