Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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