If i come over, it means nothing
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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