OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize