I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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