i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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