I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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