no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize