How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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