Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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