Non-Jews are for practice
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize