So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
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You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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