Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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