apparently the secret to your success is patron
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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