hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize