I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize